11:02 - Fox's national coverage kicks off. Curt Menefee is pitch-side. This is the embarrassing part where he tries to convince skeptical Americans that this game matters. Fox uses their NFL theme music for the CL - presumably so people half-watching the tv will go, "WHAT?! AMERICAN FOOTBALL, OR SOMETHING OF EQUIVALENT GRAVITY?! LET'S WATCH!" This is stupid because the Champions League has glorious theme music.
11:09 - That said, I want Chelsea to win. When I first started following the Premier League in earnest, a mere six or seven years ago, my Liverpool friends would always bitch about how Chelsea were ruining the game. Russian oil billionaire owner Roman Abramovich was pouring unprecedented amounts of money into Chelsea, and even traditional powers like Manchester United, Arsenal, or Liverpool couldn't keep up.
That seems like an attractive enough argument: teams ought to be built "the right way." It ignores the fact that while Manchester United and their kin were possibly built the right way once upon a time, what keeps the powers on top is the deployment of resources that lesser teams can't match.
Once you understand that, the argument against Chelsea (and nowadays Manchester City) becomes: "We should be the only teams that are allowed to bully smaller teams with our money. Only teams that traditionally finish near the top should be allowed to finish near the top." This is obviously hypocritical and preposterous. Where "traditionalists" (read: people with a rooting interest in the status quo) see modern money-splashers like Chelsea or City as ruining the soul of the game, I see it as proof that ANY team can compete given the sort of resources traditionally enjoyed only by the top teams. This also punctures the idea that there's something "special" inherent in those teams that makes them win. It's just money.
NOW WILL SOME TRILLIONAIRE PLEASE BUY EVERTON!!
11:24 - Controversial decision by Fox having Brad Friedel in the booth. Friedel plays for Tottenham, and Tottenham need Chelsea to lose this game for Tottenham to qualify for the Champions League next year. Friedel has openly said he is rooting for Bayern Munich. Was a neutral option not available?
11:27 - Friedel and Wynalda say that Chelsea's insertion of Bertrand into the starting lineup reveals terror at the thought of what Robben and Philipp Lahm might do down Bayern's right flank. I'll take their word for it, and keep an eye on it.
11:31 - Put me down for Bayern 3 - Chelsea 1
11:32 - I don't want to short Didier Drogba in this run-up. If Robben is a big game player, Drogba is his equal.
11:42 - Chelsea are outgunned here according to conventional wisdom, but even with all the players out due to card accumulation, they have a lineup filled with world class players. We still get Cech, Lampard, Mata, Drogba, Mikel, Kalou, Cole, etc. Plenty of teams would happily accept this skeleton crew.
11:45 - Chelsea's personnel issues have forced them into a defensive, counter-attacking posture, according to the announcers. Well, that's sort of what Chelsea does in huge games anyway. And it works a lot of the time for them.
KICKOFF
1st minute - And we're off!
2nd - Bayern's Schweinsteiger gets a YELLOW CARD for a deliberate handball. Silly error. Bayern on the front foot early.
5th - First half chance of the game falls for the cautioned Schweinsteiger from about 20 yards. Pretty clean look but deflects wide of the goal. Chelsea deal with the subsequent corner.
7th - Chelsea's first counter. Salomon Kalou dribbles through a couple Bayern defenders and springs Drogba downt he right flank. Drogba's inviting cross finds nobody at the back post.
14th - Bayern's Franck Ribery whips in a dangerous cross from the left that finds a slashing Mario Gomez, but he can only head over and wide.
16th - Bayern have a quick break, Robben finding Ribery, but the advance is stifled and Chelsea get their customary 10 men behind the ball. Chelsea are parking the bus in front of the goal. That's the lesson of Jose Mourinho by the way: You can play cute and have everyone love you, or you can play ugly defensive football and win big matches.
19th - Bayern enjoy a succession of corners, and Chelsea are bungling their clearances. The clear chance is yet to materialize, but it's looking nearer.
21st - Broadcast note: The American commentary appears to have dropped off without explanation. We now have the Brits.
22nd - Robben clatters his way through two Chelsea defenders to fire a low shot in that Cech deflects. Best chance of the game. Robben seemed surprised to find himself on the goal side of the Chelsea defense with the ball. Replay reveals that Cech deflected this shot off the post.
23rd - Chelsea have a promising counter fair when Kalou is played offside.
24th - I'm guessing on the times by the way, because the clock dropped out when the American announcers did.
25th - I was right on the times! The American announcers are back! (Who cares).
26th - Here's all you need to know about this game: Bayern have seven corners to Chelsea's zero.
29th - Bayern have a free kick in a very dangerous area. Robben over the ball about 25 yards out to the right of goal, in a shooting position. He hits it...straight into the wall. Oops.
30th - Chelsea's break is undone when the inexperienced Bertrand dribbles straight into Lahm.
31st - Ribery comes off after a clumsy challenge from Chelsea's Jose Bosingwa.
32nd - Robben bounces a shot on goal that doesn't trouble Cech.
34th - Gary Cahill (what's he doing up there?) earns a free kick for Chelsea in about the position that Robben just missed from on the other end. This would truly be a kick in the balls for Bayern if Chelsea got one, because Bayern have been dominating. Mata...hits it well over.
35th - The clear chance has yet to materialize. Ribery cuts in from the left and fires low, but left of Cech's goal.
36th - Ribery gets free on the left and fires a cross in dangerously for Thomas Muller who BARELY misses.
38th. Better from Chelsea. Mata feeds the left flank on the counter (was that Bertrand?), a cross into Drogba in the middle laid off to Mikel. Mikel finds Kalou for the best shot of the match. Forces a near post save.
40th - Gomez just inexplicably took a touch from point blank, and turned a clear scoring chance into a clumsy corner. Game is open right now. Chelsea might want to ratchet things back to get to halftime 0-0.
42nd - Break for Chelsea turns into a break for Bayern. Muller and Robben scream forward. Another inviting chance for Gomez fired over the bar. This game looks like it has goals in it at least.
45th - One minute of extra time.
Half time 0-0 - If Chelsea's aim was to shut down the Robben-Lahm right flank, you'd have to say mission accomplished thus far. Bayern have looked dangerous, but everything is coming from Ribery's left side. A counter-attacking goal against the run of play is extremely possible for Chelsea. Everything to play for in the final 45.
Let's have a look at Salomon Kalou's fantastic hair cut he broke out for this game.
Drogba doesn't know what to make of this.
46th - Back on. Bayern going left to right on your computer screen. Ribery flies down the left flank and shoots a low cross in that David Luiz deals with. Straight into it then.
49th - Ashley Cole loses the ball going, and as a result Robben is sprung down the left when Luiz takes a horrible angle to cut him off. Cole recovers to stifle the advance.
51st - Drogba turns and shoots out of nothing from 40 yards, and it looks threatening but wide. He is such a star.
54th - Bayern breaks again down the left. Ribery finds Robben for a shot in the middle. Off the deflection RIBERY FINDS THE NET! But he is offside. No goal.
60th - Lampard and Chelsea dithering in their own third and the ball falls for Robben. Only a desperate diving challenge keeps that out.
66th - Robben has joined Ribery on the left. Ribery, cutting in, fires weekly with his right foot. At least he shot though - he had dribbled it directly to a Chelsea defender shortly before that effort. Bayern's finishing is lacking.
69th - Bayern patiently probing the right flank, Ribery taking a turn over there with Lahm and Muller. Bayern are waiting for flaws in Chelsea's defense to reveal themselves, but it's just waiting to this point.
70th - Robben in from the right finds Schweinsteiger at the top of the box. He thumps a shot that appears to have Cech wrong-footed, but it deflects off of Luiz and Cahill.
72nd - Chelsea looking for their sucker punch. Mata finds Bosingwa on the right who fires into the box for Kalou. Cleared. Bosingwa again for Drogba now. Handled by Bayern's goalie. Bayern counter, but Robben shoots it directly into Cech's hands.
73rd - Back on the other end Drogba is free on the left. His passed cross into the six yard box is cleared.
SUBSTITUTION - Bertrand (able effort!) off for the dangerous Florent Malouda. Di Matteo wants to score?
77th - WTF was I thinking 3-1 in this game. Awful prediction by me. Like Chelsea can't defend.
78th - Thomas Muller wastes yet another Bayern chance, flubbing a pretty clean look about ten yards wide to the left of the goal. Gary Neville remarks on the Fox broadcast that Chelsea have to feel that it's in the stars for them tonight with the way Bayern keep wasting chances. Prescient?
81st - YELLOW CARD for Ashley Cole. Chelsea were attacking (!) but Mata's pass was intercepted. Cole cynically chopped down Muller to stifle Bayern's counter. Professional foul.
83rd- GOAL BAYERN MUNICH. THOMAS MULLER. BAYERN MUNICH 1 - CHELSEA 0. Simple really. Cross finds Muller on the back post. He heads it firmly into the ground and it bounces over a flailing Cech.
84th - It's yet to come up, but this game is being played at Bayern's home stadium. The announcer celebrates Muller's goal in a partisan manner. That would chap my ass if I were Chelsea. This is theoretically supposed to be a neutral site match.
85th - SUBSTITUTION - Fernando Torres on for Salomon Kalou. Chelsea have to attack now.
86th - YELLOW CARD for David Luiz, who helpfully have his full name on the back of his jersey. Conspicuous hair as well.
88th - GOAL CHELSEA. DIDIER DROGBA. BAYERN MUNICH 1 - CHELSEA 1. It's a big match right? So Drogba scored. Chelsea make the most of a rare corner opportunity. Drogba absolutely hammered it home. Color analyst Gary Neville lets out his trademark goal-gasm primal squeal to celebrate.
90th - Three minutes of extra time. Looks like we're headed for a bonus half hour.
90 plus 3 - Chelsea have been dominating this extra time somehow, and they now have a free kick from a dangerous area. The final kick of the 90. Drogba over the ball. For everything? Skies it over the bar.
END 90. Let's play another half-hour.
I will honor the winner of this match by eating a turkey sandwich and some chips. That is my vow.
91st - Bayern right to left on your computer screen. How great would a Fernando Torres winner be?
92nd - Chelsea start the extra period dominating possession for the first time today. Torres going forward looking dangerous. Events have taken a turn to say the least.
93rd - PENALTY. Drogba with a terrible challenge on Ribery from behind in the box. What an error. YELLOW CARD to Drogba.
96th - PENALTY SAVED BY PETR CECH. What in the world is happening!?!?!? Robben fires low to Cech's left, and Cech just smothers it and covers it. No rebound. World class from Cech, something less from Robben.
97th - SUBSTITUTION. Ivica Olic on for Franck Ribery, who appears to have been injured by Drogba's challenge on the penalty. Good trade for Chelsea in the end there.
101st - Everyone seems tired all of a sudden. The legs are heavy. This is understandable My fingers are killing me.
105th - A mere one minute of extra time. Seems short considering there was a penalty and Ribery came off injured.
END FIRST PERIOD OF EXTRA TIME
Penalties in our future?
106th - Back on.
108th - Bayern's Olic crosses in front of a wide open goalmouth, and it goes begging. Gomez should have finished. SOMEONE should have finished. Chelsea escape certain defeat, yet again.
110th - Bayern in control again, setting up shop in Chelsea's third.
112th - Ball in for Gomez, but Gary Cahill gets in front of him. Luiz clears it. Referee controversially orders Cahill off for a cramp even though the trainer didn't come on. Subsequent corner is cleared by Torres.
113th - Robben cuts in from the right to lash his trademark left footed shot, but it sails wide.
115th - Now I'm getting nervous and I don't even care who wins.
116th - EVERTON gets a shout out for a penalty win over Borussia Dortmund at some point in the distant past. I'll take it!
119th - Both sides resigned to penalties now? I can't imagine there would be more than a minute of added time here.
120th - YELLOW CARD. Fernando Torres. Maybe for his dissent? Didn't look like much in the challenge as he broke forward looking for a winner.
WE ARE HEADED TO PENALTIES!!!
Holding my daughter for these. SHE'S CUTER THAN ANY PLAYER ON THE PITCH! SHE WINS! ABBY WINS THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE!
Refs not recognizing this. They're going to go ahead with the penalties.
BAYERN'S FIRST - Philipp Lahm - GOAL 1-0 BAYERN
CHELSEA'S FIRST - Juan Mata - SAVED 1-0 BAYERN
BAYERN'S SECOND - Mario Gomez - GOAL 2-0 BAYERN
CHELSEA'S SECOND - David Luiz - GOAL 2-1 BAYERN
BAYERN'S THIRD - Manuel Neuer - GOAL 3-1 BAYERN
CHELSEA'S THIRD - Frank Lampard - GOAL 3-2 BAYERN
BAYERN'S FOURTH - Ivica Olic - SAVED 3-2 BAYERN
CHELSEA'S FOURTH - Ashley Cole - GOAL - 3-3 TIED
BAYERN'S FIFTH - Bastian Schweinsteiger - MISS - 3-3 TIED
CHELSEA'S FIFTH - Didier Drogba - GOAL - CHELSEA 4-3
CHELSEA WINS 4-3 ON PENALTIES.
That was absolutely heart in mouth entertainment. Had to be Didier!
This had to be better coverage than any other website offered of this match.
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